My kickstarter is LIVE!! Please help spread the word!

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

Just launched my kickstarter and thought I would share it with you guys:

andyman404 #55 33 216

Congrats on launching your Kickstarter!

I pledged, but your Kickstarter video does not do your project justice. As a fellow member of the underground, I'm giving you this honest feedback because I want you to effin' rock it. Please don't take it negatively or personally, ot be discouraged by this. I want to see you kick some kickstarter butt and get the funding you need. Disclaimer: I'm not an expert, and my opinions may be rubbish, but it is given with much love, and hopefully you will find some value from it:

1. Biggest takeaway point: Visitors are going to give up on the video if they are not interested by the first <10 seconds of it, unless they are already specifically interested in the project. Especially true if they're just browsing through Kickstarter videos looking for cool new indie games.

2. Audio clarity needed: I found it hard to understand what you're saying in the first 10 seconds with the lightning sound in the background. If I was just browsing through Kickstarter indie game projects, I would have definitely moved on already before the first 10 seconds are up, simply because of that. Make sure you speak clearly and enunciate, or even get a real voice actor with just the right voice and a good recording setup. (I'd check on Fiverr if you have a low budget).

3. Wasted time, get to the meat of it: The first 35 seconds of your video don't tell me anything about the game or why I'd want to support it. If you had to cut the whole 3:11 minute video down to 60 seconds, what would you do differently? What if you had to cut it down to 30 seconds? 10 Seconds? What would you keep, cut, or replace? Whatever pieces of the video that are not helping you to sell the game and keep viewer attention are hurting it.

4. Sperm: I'm embarrassed to say, but the sequence with the "Dizzy Media Inc Presents" in the beginning (00:09 - 00:20) looks a lot like a sperm swimming along and approaching an egg. It's soooo slooow too. This is a prime example so something to cut entirely or shorten down to 1-2 seconds. It may be nice fancy effects, but it doesn't help sell the game, and takes up too much time. And then the "Dizzy Media Inc Presents" clip is repeated again at 00:30! They already know that it is "Dizzy Media Inc Presents" by that time - you've already spent 5-6 precious seconds (00:13-00:18) previously telling them that. And unless you are big name with previously released titles that people have enjoyed, it means nothing to the viewer.

5. Captions and shaping of viewer's impression? It could help to put a caption of what you're trying to show in the video when you are displaying gameplay scenes. For example, the game's main selling points are old-school RPG feel, challenging puzzles, old-school Final Fantasy battle system and very deep plot. Show clips that demonstrate each and feature out (with captions) what that clip is demonstrating. For example, in the video at 00:44 - 00:47, with those two clips of the battle, you might put text captions over them such as "enjoy epic old-school battles" and "fight ferocious monsters" respectively. (You can think of better captions than that, since you know your game much better.) This helps to shape the viewer's impression/concept of what they are looking at. And/or have it narrated if it is well done (real voice actor with clarity and attitude).

6. Written description - good: You give lots of great info about the project in the written description outside of the video. Those animated gifs of the characters running across the screen are annoying and distracting though.

7. Minor Spelling correction - the heading "Promo's" should be Promos. Promo's would be the possessive form.

For my own learning - some questions for you might answer:

1. What kind of research did you do before making the video? How many other kickstarter videos did you review and analyze? What did you like about them? What made you lose interest?

2. What kind of review process did you have for the video before launching the Kickstarter? Did you have other people who are NOT family, NOT your friends, and NOT your teammates look over your video first, and try to get honest feedback from them?

andyman404 #55 33 216

(sorry double post)

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

I'd like you to take a look at this video as a prime example of basically proving everything you just said wrong:

Considering this kickstarter shows less then 10 seconds worth of in game footage, the first part of the video is just text and nothing but text which doesn't even mesh well with the basic theme of the game.

Still takes the guy 1 whole minute to "get to the meat of it" as you would say, as far as the sperm goes, yes it's an alien sperm cell or whatever youd want to imagine it to be so that's supposed to be like that, it's part of the theme.

The captions, it's in consideration but not very much. As im producing everything myself alone, nothing will be perfect but I can say that I thoroughly tested the audio quality and was satisfied with the output on my end at the least. I don't seem to have any issues on the youtube video for the KS.

It seems the video i linked above does a lot of things you say not to do yet has been funded $3,000 + for their campeign. I say the video has mostly nothing to do with it, people may just be a tad bit lazy to actually scroll down past the video did he just say that? Yes, yes I did. It's ok because I do it too sometimes so I understand.

I took away some of the animated shyla vs her mom graphics, perhaps too many as well as fixed the 1 spelling mistake lol

For the end questions, i think the answers would vary depending on person but due to my personal nature I like a lot of things and I actually take the time to dive into that developers world to better understand what im looking at. So when i go to kickstarter pages, websites or play a demo, i dive right in to get the full experience wether thats watching every video, playing the demo till the end, reading the blogs/forums, etc. but that's just what I do so that's my thing.

I did plenty of research trust me, studied the way they presented things plenty although many points about their video presentation I don't like. As I do video production work everything I make is my style, sure I could get on camera and talk for 3 min straight like the guy above. Is that a good video? No, it's just a guy talking. Even the OUYA kickstarter video had more talking then anything else, people talking may explain something to someone who wants to not make effort, yes. It isn't however the most entertaining video to watch, thus being the creative and imaginative person I am, made a KS video that didn't follow the footsteps of countless other videos, with talking people for longer then people want to listen. Sure a good story can be great, presentation is what delivers it properly.

I don't believe my presentation was weak but it def. didn't hand you everything on a silver platter, nothing revolving around my game does that, it's what you could call another aspect of "my theme" lol can I do that even though I have little established credit as a game dev.? Good question, only time will tell.

The one thing i didn't like about many KS pages I viewed, the videos honestly, many had really bad videos. There were also a lot with good videos but other then that eveything else was great.

Well i think that about wraps it up, summary... ^^ video ^^ prime example of how a KS gets funded still with a video such as the one on their page. Ba bump! Hope that fills ya in!

P.S one last note, without the second "Dizzy media inc" present the moving cell across the screen would have had no effect, thus why that is even there. Considering it's there for a very very short period of time, it has very little negative effect as the result of it being present is actually a more attractive presentation. It was a fade in and fade out from one original scene, it's not 2 separate scenes that are edited together, doing editing im sure I understand it a bit more so I am taking the time to explain a bit.

andyman404 #55 33 216

Congrats on getting featured! And thanks for taking the time to explain. Looking forward to seeing how the IGM feature affects the campaign.

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

thanks and me too! When the KS launched I was 25 in the IndieDB ratings and then wavered around 200-400 a few days after launch now im back to 35 but still no donations which is curious enough but I am confident things will pick up in due time.

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

A new beta for JBS is out, you can get it from here:

So what's new in this version?


  • Title menu cursor added

  • Stage Select for level 2 patched (before if load on stage select tint was incorrect, now is corrected)

  • Finishing the "Kitty" sidequest enables you to have Kitty as your sidekick during battles, she will also follow you around for most of the time while you explore stage 2.

  • 4 new maps have been added- 2 new easter eggs have been added (3 new mini-games are now available to find in the game)

  • Finding easter eggs enables you to play the mini-games at any time in the game, simply by going to the menu and selecting the easter egg in items.

  • Food you gather for lunch can now be eaten if you accidentally take too much (be careful though, Shyla can get full).

  • Alternate route included in stage 1 "Shyla's Dream" area for those who have a hard time navigating through the level (new route includes mini-game).

  • Special bar length fixed

  • ATB gauge locations fixed (before was over HP amount, now is beside it)- Slimes in forest are more aggressive (before rarely attacked, now you better watch out).

  • Slowed down text display speed in some cut scenes

  • Pause option added, by using the ALT button the game freezes even if you are in a cut scene. The only time the pause feature will not work is when you are in battle.

For now that's it but I feel the updates and fixes really add onto the game very nicely, go ahead and download the new beta to check everything out!

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

The kickstarter video has been updated for anyone who is interested, go ahead and check the first posting, new thumbnail as well

andyman404 #55 33 216

MUCH better video! Good job! Your passion for the game really shows in the video!

MPRart #143 17 128

What is the link to the actual kickstarter page? All I see is the video here.

Statelessrich #30 27 143

I agree with andyman404. The barrage of images on the Kickstarter page are too much for me.
What are the gameplay mechanics? What makes it different from the typical game in the genre (from a gameplay perspective)? The first few paragraphs on your Kickstarter should answer these questions.

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

Everything is thoroughly explained in the KS, take the time to read it and you'll have the answers to your questions.
Unfortunately we live in a society now where demand is now and patience is low, have some patience and the gold is yours lol

InstantLife #98 47 315

bro, very nice!
awesome to see you featured in the indie game magazine, and i like the promo video

Dizzy Media Inc. #13 31 395

thanks ^_^ glad you enjoyed, the kickstarter ends today! Last minute bids are welcome

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